3 a.m. Wake Up Call

We have to put ourselves first in many situations. But that is a rare thing.

I could not sleep awhile back and my end thought from the whole thing was pretty substantial considering it seemed like just a restless night at first. I was in and out of deep sleep. The part of the night where you’re not awake enough to have real conscious thoughts, but you’re some how able to be aware and in control of your dreams. And then the thoughts and stresses of the day take over and the dreaming ends while reality sneaks it way back into the limbo of the night.

And no matter how hard I tried all I could think about was all the wrong that had been said to me throughout the week. I don’t even remember what it was now, or why it mattered so much. But it kept me awake, and that made me even more furious with the people who were saying these things. I do remember they weren’t even saying the things they did to purposely offend me. I just took it too personally. Their words kept repeating over and over. And with each repeat I kept plotting more and more on what I could say to them to help them understand how upset I was. That they needed to apologize and all would be well. They needed to fix it, not me.

And then the 3 am wake up call came. TURN OUTWARD! Who am I to call anyone out on their wrong doings, when I’m literally staying awake because I’m so set on doing wrong back? The constant thought kept coming that I need to apologize to these people and find a way to serve them! No matter how small. I needed to get past myself and what could possibly be offending me and think of others’ feelings.

It doesn’t even matter why they said what was said, all that mattered was that I needed to get away from myself and step out of the ego.

Building confidence isn’t easy, and we don’t make it any easier on ourselves when were struggling within ourselves. Take a breath, keep moving, and turn outward to those around you. Fill your mind with the positive, no matter how small, and spread it around.

People will say what they say, even if it’s intentional. It sucks us into ourselves for a minute or two. The sooner we put someone else in focus, it’s like the words were never even said. And a couple weeks later writing about it, you can’t even remember why you were so upset. So move on and turn out!

The Confidently Speaking

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